Where's the iPhone 9? (Saturday, September 16, 2017)

As we know, Apple had their one big event of the year where they announce that they're actually doing something. During this splendid event they announced the release of two "new" products, the iPhone 8 and the iPhone X (which is pronounced iPhone 10 for those who don't understand Roman numerals). Unfortunately, Apple never tells us everything, and they forgot to tell us what happened to the iPhone 9. Because of this, our FFWT Electronics Research Department had to do some in depth research. If you remember, Windows pulled this same shenanigan on us when they forgot to release Windows 9. We believe this is because 7 ate 9, literally. We came across highly unclassified evidence that showed Windows 7 devoured Windows 9. After Windows 7 became the "wanna be software on the market" it caused Windows 7's ego to grow. A few years later Microsoft decided to release the vulgar Windows 8. At first Windows 7 believed this could take away his long lasting fame. Lucky for him, Windows 8 was the biggest failure on the market and cause Windows 7 to become even more popular. Eventually Microsoft realized they need to fix the accident known as Windows 8, so Bill Gates created Windows 9. Windows 9 was proposed to be the best of the best of software (in the U.S). When Windows 7 heard of this news he knew he needed to stop the update before it was released. So Windows 7 literally ate Windows 9. This caused Bill Gates to become ferocious, so he proposed Windows 10 and forced every computer to download it. Even if you didn't want Windows 10 you had no choice. We also see this same trend with the iPhone. Top secret files in the public domain show that the iPhone 7 ate the iPhone 9. This still leaves us with the question, "why didn't the iPhone 7 eat the iPhone 8?" Turns out the iPhone 8 was just a typical Apple scam to get money (It's actually an iPhone 7, but just with the number 8 on the back). As for the iPhone X, we believe there was some bartering behind the screen. For example, the iPhone X does not include the well known finger print scanner... We believe the iPhone 7 played a part in this.

Fake History

    -Tyler Johnson