The Racetrack Principle and the Tortoise and the Hare (Wednesday, October 18, 2017)

If you've ever taken the dreadful class sometimes referred to as Calculus, you might know of The Racetrack Principle. To understand this principle, it only takes a small portion of common sense. If an object is going faster than another, it will reach the end first. For example, a Ferrari is really fast, unlike a Prius. If a Ferrari and a Prius were to race, the Ferrari would win by a landslide. However this was proven untrue during The Great Race (A.K.A The Tortoise and the Hare). According to Walternative News, the average velocity for a hare is 60.2 MPH, and the average velocity of a tortoise is 0.5 MPH. According to The Racetrack Principle, we would conclude that the Hare won the race. But to our surprise, the Tortoise won the race with a remarkable speed of 0.5 MPH. This unknowingly proved The Racetrack Principle to be Fake News and a bunch of baloney. After 5 years of researching the laws of physics we discovered that The Racetrack Principle was in fact true, but the Tortoise broke the laws of physics. Because of this, the Tortoise was arrested due to a minor in physics and the rest is history.

Fake History

    -Tyler Johnson