Jalapenos aren't Actually Hot (Thursday, August 24, 2017)

It is always a common misconception that Jalapenos are hot, but it is false in the most meaningful way. If you are an intelligent human being, you probably know that all five senses can affect the taste of a food. When we see a Jalapeno, we assume that it's spicy, so our brain tricks us into believing it's spicy. If we read a sign that says "World's Spiciest Jalapeno Ever!" our brain tricks us into thinking it's the "World's Spiciest Jalapeno Ever!" Our brain also tricks us by our sense of smell. When we smell the Jalapeno, we think it's super spicy! So our brain pretends it's spicy to keep our hopes up. Hearing also plays an important part in this. When your only friend warns you that the Jalapeno is hot and spicy, and that you'll probably need a gallon of milk, you're brain takes your friends advice and makes you think the Jalapeno is spicy. Unfortunately this doesn't always work as planned, such as when someone who's not your friend says "its not to spicy" and you soon find out their wrong. Finally, when you touch the Jalapeno your brain registers that it could be hot. To prevent you from being hurt from the spice, it makes it taste extraordinarily hot so you wont eat the whole thing. Now you know the truth behind the Jalapeno and it's many tricks. With this knowledge you can attempt to stop your brain from tricking you, which is virtually impossible. Watch for our next article, Habaneros are not Extraordinarily Hot.

Fake History

    -Tyler Johnson

Requested by Seth