How to Harness all of the Potential Energy (Saturday, February 17, 2018)

Everyone loves excessive amounts of power, which is why we all want to be president of the United Nations! But what if you could harness all of the potential energy in the world? Well to start off, we must discuss what potential energy is, where to find it, and how much it costs. According to wiki-dicki-diction-nary.com, potential energy is basically free energy if you know how to obtain it. Think of it in the terms of a Chinese Buffet. At the buffet, tons of "potential" foods are sitting under the heating lamps with no meaning or purpose. Of course that is until you discover the "potential" foods and obtain it. Now that you have received the "potential" foods it becomes KINETIC (Keep Independent Neutral Energy To Inconceivable Causes) Foods. So where do you find Potential Energy? Almost anywhere, except Iowa, because nothing is in Iowa. How is this mysterious energy obtained? By owning more matter of course! The more matter you own, the more potential energy you own! For example, you could find a pile of dirt and set it on a shelf in your bedroom, and now you have potential energy! So in order to obtain all of the earths potential energy, you must obtain the entire planet. Essentially you gotta have the whole world in your hands.

-Tyler Johnson